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Upward and Outward

from Coaxial Chaos by Watabou

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We often find ourselves creatively thinking at seemingly inopportune moments; sometimes as a coping mechanism, sometimes because of odd ways we are forced to push our bodies and minds, sometimes because of our ability to reorganize thoughts when we are away from familiar environments. Regardless of the circumstance, it’s usually recognizable even in the moment that the choice becomes either to cast these creative thoughts aside or to temporarily halt whatever else is happening to bring those creative impulses to fruition. Are these creative thoughts worth putting other obligations to the side, or will better things come at a more convenient time? Could this be the spiral into productivity that breaches the surface and stands as a testimony to the ideas we care deeply about, or will other resources, connections, or physical priorities contribute more to our goals in the moment? Lastly, will the regret eat at you forever if the ideas escape? Because for me personally, I’ve recognized that casting these impulses to the side may be the rational and balanced thing to do a lot of times, but the guilt and frustration that results from letting intense forms of expression and connection escape from me is just as strong of a self-sabotage. Regardless of your conclusion, energy and passion will not stick around and wait for you to utilize them. Our experience is constantly moving forward and if we are paralyzed by indecision we allow ourselves to suffer remorse from both options.


Don’t hold back your words
Don’t regret your feelings now
Don’t let your thoughts disperse

Excessive movement and emotion are all that I need
To redirect my efforts to help someone besides me
Still push past all these barriers whether or not we believe
The outcome of our actions will happen realistically

‘Cause Here I am on the upswing
Clarifying my meanings
Artificially breathing writing words and
Knowing that I’ll come crashing
But till then I’ll be singing
Bada ba ba bada ba
Bada ba ba bada ba

I’m reemerging from bad dreams and waking up
To a scary existence full of so much potential

That’s always been the case
And maybe it still means nothing
I won’t know till I’m asleep and
Either way I’ll fall asleep

Eventually I know I’ll fall off the grid again
I’m under no delusion this will last forever
Twisting and turning I’ll still ride this spiral ’till the end
Upward and outward, over and over again

I’ll readdress all the missteps
I’m aware of
No one may know the difference
But it’s still insufficient
Just to let all the damage
That I’ve done

Splitting off at the end now
Fortifying in two ways
Trying to keep the pace up
Movement giving me malaise
Emotion causing distress
Not sure about how I’m feeling
Thinking twice before speaking
What the fuck am I thinking

Now, do I remember how to sustain these motions any longer?
Could this ever be an active task, something within my conscious grasp?

Or am I grasping at straws when I should be attentive to the task that I
Hoped would act as incentive to keep on moving forward and keep singing this

(Bada ba ba bada ba)
(Bada ba ba bada ba)

Now when it’s difficult I have to remember the agony
Of the stagnation I found myself stuck with once I admitted defeat
I won’t admit defeat again

Upward and outward
Keeping the pace up
Bada Ba Ba Bada Ba
Bada Ba Ba Bada Ba


from Coaxial Chaos, released March 1, 2019
Intro bassline recorded using Chris Miller from Crochetcatpause's Little Phatty, bassline performed by Matthew Morden




Watabou Ann Arbor, Michigan

Watabou is the amalgamation of extensive electronic programming, punishing physical externalization, subconscious realization, and constructive manipulation of myself and my art. It is the peak of my artistic externalization and I hope you understand and enjoy it for what it is. ... more

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