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Winding Backroad

from Coaxial Chaos by Watabou

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about

When we feel stagnant it’s easy to desire a departure from our routine. Familiarity with our environment often leads to comfortability, and comfort can all too easily lead to complacency. Though as easy as it is to recognize this and desire change, navigating forward through life can be overwhelming and devastating. There are many erratic paths all around us frequently intersecting without a clear sense of continuity or purpose. Meanwhile everything and everyone is chaotically moving about these paths at a relentless pace regardless of our action or inaction. We are at a constant risk of collision simply by existing in the world, and while this is frightening and oftentimes harmful it is also the basis of most of our novel and intimate experiences. Because of this inevitability it is common to seek out methods of maximizing our meaningful encounters and creating a sense of control over our circumstances, and one way to approach that is by attempting to remain in perpetual motion to sustain our momentum and utilize our energy as thoroughly as possible. It is easy for this ambition to get lost, though. Remaining constantly moving can deprive us of our ability to reflect on our trajectory, and when everything is uncertain to begin with, being reckless can lead us to exhausting all of our energy maintaining a pattern just as cyclical as the one we tried to escape in the first place.

If you found yourself in this situation, how would you react? Would you revert to the initial set of circumstances that pushed your patience but required little energy, or would you make an attempt to disembark from your chaotic paradigm and turn even further from what you know? How far is too far away, and what are you hoping to gain from the trials you will certainly face?

lyrics

Fervently evading home
Moving forward by tooth and nail alone
Never looking back on it because I know how this goes
I’m such a stupid sucker for familiar roads,
Even if I have had ample time to grow

It’s not like the sentiment is
Erased entirely from memory
Nourishing resilience necessary
For pushing my own boundaries
To carry on carrying on

Grasping at my own thoughts inside downpours of debris,
Climbing metaphorical dust walls just to breathe
Trudging through this labyrinth-laden league

Scrounging for indicators in the sediment
But when it’s time for fight or flight no one’s got time for that
As if we can hope to navigate our passage away
A proper form of structure will just as strongly attenuate

Brimming with exuberance in prospect of this path
Despite all the frightening fixtures and foreseen death
Simple change in scenery can go a such long way
Acting to rejuvenate a heart in disarray, and

Keep me looking at the process instead of the deviations
Destroying the notions romanticizing vague self-isolation

I might be alone in the forest for a while
Following a road to places I have never been
Though I have an open heart and open mind to others, too
I thoroughly miss companionship but know I’d rather find something new

Coursing through these
Forestal veins
Objecting to
Relishing in comfortability, really this isn’t for me
So instead I

Run, I know I’m getting close
To something besides what I know
Even though I lost my motivation hours ago
Maybe then I’ll have something new to show for this hardship
But it’s hard to tell
I guess I’ll just have hope

credits

from Coaxial Chaos, released March 1, 2019

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Watabou Ann Arbor, Michigan

Watabou is the amalgamation of extensive electronic programming, punishing physical externalization, subconscious realization, and constructive manipulation of myself and my art. It is the peak of my artistic externalization and I hope you understand and enjoy it for what it is. ... more

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